Friday, December 28, 2012

From Connecticut to California: Kansas & Colorado

Well we finally made it halfway. Somehow my spirits were still high, even after all those miles & Ryan breaking his thumb and needing surgery. I'm not sure how my attitude stayed so great...I like this new me...who pretty much accepts things and just moves on. I find that it's just easier to accept it and go. I don't know how long it will last but I'm hoping forever. It makes life so much easier. Anyways, we stopped the night in Sabetha, Kansas, I find myself lucky to have family scattered around. It makes road trips a bit more fun. We stayed with my uncle and aunt and I got to see their new home, well new for me since I hadn't been to Sabetha since I was a young teenager. I spent two summers in Sabetha and have tons of memories with my cousins. My aunt made potato soup & yummy cornbread. My kids got to admire the elk rack from the elk my uncle had just hunted a few weeks prior in Colorado. It was really neat for my kids to see how much family they had scattered around the country.
My cousin taking the kids on a ride

Next stop was Colorado. This point of my trip was a bit tough. I was afraid to see my aunt because she's my mother's sister. And those who know or don't mother committed suicide in 2010. I've struggled everyday since. We live in a constant state of guilt...what we could've done we could've done more....I still don't go a day without thinking of my mom...and I think that's okay. Even tho it makes me sad...I love that I think of her daily. Seeing my aunt made me crave my aunt cooked for me just like my mother always did. My mother LOVED cooking for me...mainly b/c I LOVE Korean food. The spicier the better and my mom and I really bonded over food. It was hard being there without my many things reminded me of her. It was something I needed to do..I needed to face seeing all the things that reminded me of her...I hadn't seen my aunt since the funeral and of course all those old memories came back from the tragedy that last brought us together. My children needed to see my aunt, I did as well. I know my mom would've loved that we stopped to see her sister. The last time we traveled across my mom made sure my aunt was ready for us...even telling her my favorite soup to make. Anyways...before I start crying all over myself...It was a good visit...I definitely needed it.
Conner & Emo (Aunt in Korean)
 Ryan trying to eat jajangmuen with his left hand...yikes!
 Beautiful Colorado
 Breath taking. 

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